The other day a man asked me what do I want.
My response was
"A place to sleep and books to read. I am content." I was half asleep (half awake) and he was taking my order for food and he did look at me quite queer.
My sense of self has very little to do with material possessions. I have enough. What more does a man need? There is a wisdom in simplicity.
I have my bed; I have my books; I work to keep up on these things. But they are simple things. I could do without all the other garbage. Although I find it a need to have a trash can. Mine isn't that nice though. Very plain. How boring I know. I guess your wondering "what about your computer asshole" yeah I find some things necessary evils, my computer... yeah. Oh well I worked my ass off for this thing.
Everything is the surface, and so few look beyond it. Its a shame, people judge someone by what they own. Do they drive the right car, have the right friends, wear the right clothes? If you have those things you can buy respect. I won't have a never-ending quest for possessions like some. I am more concerned with a persons soul than what they are driving, or wearing, or who their friends are.
I live in a cesspool, society is crumbling. I am growing a beard in protest. I will fight against the vanity.
I won't live by rules that make no sense to me
- Current Mood: good
People are ants, running around their little mound consuming and working all day trying to keep up with their ant politics and their ant points of view. Its ridiculous.
The word is sorry.
I hate when people throw out an apology for no damn reason at all. Example someone bumped into me at Target and immediately turned around and apologized profusely.
"OHHHHH So sorry Sir"
"It's not a big deal. Really, I'm fine."
What are they afraid of? Without that apology am I going to hold a grudge? It's ok, I already assume it wasn't intentional, and even considering somebody intentionally brushed against me, I don't think I could be angry about it.
"HEY, MOTHERFUCKER! DID YOU JUST APPLY A SLIGHT PRESSURE TO MY BODY JUST THEN? I FELT SOMETHING AS YOU WALKED BY YOU PEICE OF SHIT!"
How untrusting do they have to be to think that I might turn on them if I'm not vindicated for the injustice of being brushed against?
What's up with apologizing anyway? Apologizing is definitely not intended for unintentional occurrences, it's supposed to be for changes of heart. Get it right, people. Save the apologies for when they matter, otherwise they're worthless. Apology inflation, you might say. Don't apologize for trivial shit only when it means something.
Example when I was twelve I was walking my three year old German Shepard when I semi-truck driven by someone I actually knew, and am actually "almost" related to plowed into my dog dragging him about twenty feet down the road. All I got then was a curt snap, upward of the wrist out the window and kept on truckin like he was waving sorry from afar "sorry I just killed your dog, oh wait he's not dead yet oh well your problem now hope this half assed wave takes care of it" Bastard. I would have appreciated a "sorry" the next time I saw him.
Which all this blabbing really leads me too people don't invest enough feeling in what is important to say rather they just let it ride, and when politeness and keeping up a good front is total policy when your with complete strangers. Do forget to say God bless you when a total stranger sneezes though he might need it.
- Current Mood: uncomfortable
The dream started off with me in a big boat not much too this boat but it was white and blue and primitive in the sense that it didn't have a motor and I was pushing it through the water with a long oar. I am heading to a beach with a bunch of big mansions that are all burned up and decaying for some reason and all the stuff that's suppose to be inside the house is out on the beach with a bunch of rich people hawking their slightly damaged goods for really cheap. I remember buying a nice bed for five bucks (some smoke damaged) and a huge TV for the same. ANYWAY while I am touring this strange garage sell loading up my boat with wares and old spinster lady comes up to me with a four eyed cat (that can talk) in a canary cage. Five bucks she says, I am immediately suspicious of this transaction because I am allergic to cats, and cats to me are vain creatures. Now before I go on I must explain that. A dog gets fed and taken care of and looks at you like your a god, a cat gets fed and taken care of and thinks its a god, hope I don't OFFEND anyone with that, its just I am a dog person, but the thing has four eyes and is pretty cool looking so I say "OK" Now all the while this cat is whispering in my ear all kinds of crazy things. "let me out, I will show you many things, I'm harmless I will teach you how to use your third eye" WHOOOOO mysterious I know but like I said I don't trust those creatures but I say "OK" because I think it was the direction the dream was going anyway. As soon as I open the cage the crazy bastard jumps on me (by this point I am in the sitting position in the boat with my hands on my knees) and sinks its claws into my hand and starts looking at me crazy. After that it is THE REALLY WEIRD part. The cat releases its claws and starts telling me to "see what is unseen" and amazingly i can see the aura of things around me, the trees the water, people. The rest is a little to crazy to put down without getting me committed but man o' man what weirdness that occurs when we sleep. Basically I wonder if this is just craziness or maybe some type of meaning, four eyed cat, boats, five bucks, crazy burnt down mansions, strange transactions, aura's, canary cage? What does it all mean? I think I need to start taking sleeping pills again...
- Current Mood: sleepy